On Animals
Susan Orleans’ book On Animals has been in my To Read pile for months, so when a friend mentioned it during our weekly call, I took note and brought it down to the basement to read during my biking workout.
Detour and for the record: working out has taken on an existential level because everything I read these days points the finger at me: I am old. Which is for another post. For now, suffice it to say that I need to up my ante regarding exercise, keep an eye on my bone density, and—need I mention—that my arm muscles don’t exactly bring Michelle Obama’s to mind.
I hopped on our recumbent bike—which, I have learned, does not do much for bone density. To heck with that! I began to read. And laugh. On Animals was exactly what I needed to cheer me up; it’s about animals, afterall. For instance, on page 2, Orleans—then as a young woman who had just moved to New York City—saw a large rabbit being walked down the street. The rabbit’s owner was trying to convince the rabbit to hop, dragging the poor creature down the street by the leash. The rabbit would have none of it.
Knowing what I know now, I could have suggested to the owner that they pick up the rabbit. Good for arm muscle development. Instead I looked up fifteen minutes later from a surf on PetFinder, which does nothing for bone density or arm muscles and probably not good for eyesight or attention span either. But for moments of cute?! Pet rabbits. And cats. Dogs. What is it about ponies and their big brown eyes that results in me needing one? Maybe two. Ditto cows. Small cows. Maybe a barnful of miniature animals that are big enough to carry.
The serendipity of this detour to PetFinder? The day before, Carl had commented that we might do well to build that barn we’ve been talking about.
We were in a barn when he said it. We were at a friends’ house for dinner. When we arrived, Jim was heading to the barn for evening chores. We joined him and greeted Mabel, a shy cow who initially retreated to the far corner of her stall. And their 8-10 goats—big ones in one stall, smaller ones in another. (The goats you might have read about back when they were babies.) They are still really cute: one with a smile marked on her face. Twins who had been adopted but then returned and there they were, remarkably smaller than their cohorts. Very nearly miniature-sized.
I helped to feed Mabel her evening turnips. She has the most enormous tongue I have ever seen. But, somehow, my hand never got slurped up or gnawed on. And that was when Carl commented that maybe a barn would be good. He looked up at the beams. He loves timber-framed structures. As he stared up, chatting about how we could store stuff in the barn (really?) I made eye contact with those twin girl goats. And another one, who was up on her hind legs, her head thrust forward and clearly in need of a rubbing between her ears. And another had a piece of straw decorating her nose.
I asked if the two small goats were the ones Elizabeth had tried to convince us to adopt last spring. They are indeed, and do we need a barn?
At which point, the goats got out. Jim had gone into their stall to get some hay and the door wasn’t quite closed and one of those goats used her headstrong head to muscle her way out. Her sister…s followed suit. Three of them ready to play in the hall—whoops! four—and it was fun for us to convince them to go back in.
Although…I imagine breakouts like that could be a serious frustration at other times. Think late night, freezing weather, water spilled on the legs, brrr. But, too, I am willing to bet that heaving small-ish goats and sheep around (there’s no heaving alpaca or donkeys…that would need to be more a debating style) and moving hay bales would build muscles and increase bone density.
Sheep are excellent lawn mowers, too. Goats clear brush. Sheep and alpaca wool!? I could start knitting in my, um, free time.
Really? Do I really think a barn is in order? In fact, I recognize that this might be just another of-the-moment dream.
I also know that a barn will get built if Carl and I determine it is a good idea and where to put it. Stay tuned.
In the meantime, I thought Tubby was reminding me to stretch after my workout. A friend pointed out that it looked more like he was trying to open the drawer in hopes of finding food.
